Nothing but Pain
by rozabelikovaforever
Summary: DPOV of the scene in Last Sacrifice where Rose is shot by Tasha. Dimitri's emotions and feelings. One-shot, maybe two-shot. My first fanfic. Enjoy!
1. The Fate of the Bullet

**Hey guys, this is my first fanfic, and I hope you like it.**

**DPOV on the scene from Last Sacrifice where Tasha shoots Rose.**

**DISCLAIMER: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy. I don't own any of the characters (as much as I wish I could own Dimitri) or storyline. Only the specific words used in this fanfic.**

**Rated T for few mentions of sex.**

**Probably going to be a one-shot, maybe I'll follow it up with another chapter about the surgery until the part where Rose wakes up or something.**

**Don't be afraid to review! Constructive criticism is welcome, as are any comments at all.**

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><p>Tasha started making her way to the door, the gun pointed at Mia's head. However, Mia was writhing in her grasp. Something big was going to happen. I knew it. My dhampir, once-a-guardian instincts told me so. But I just didn't know what.<p>

In all the years I'd known Tasha, I'd grown to understand her well. And if Rose hadn't come along, I really think I could've become her guardian. She was fierce, passionate, strong. But in my mind, Rose trumped her in all those qualities and more. Rose was a protector. She was dedicated. She was the epitome of beauty. I knew I was probably biased, but to me, Rose was perfection. No one else could come close.

But still, I had known Tasha for so long. I should've known what she would do. I should've been able to stop her. Yet recently, she'd changed so much. Never would I have expected her to murder the queen, frame it on Rose, or hold a Moroi hostage to escape execution for her crimes. Who I saw marching toward the door now was a completely different person from the Tasha I'd come to like and respect, the Tasha who was once a close friend. She was now a criminal. Unpredictable. Dangerous. I wanted – _needed_ – to know what she was going to do.

Even if I was no longer a guardian, I still had duty drilled into me. I would protect. Rose. Lissa. My gaze was fixed upon them. They were the only ones I had in mind right now. The woman I loved – would _always_ love – a part of me forever, a part I wouldn't be able to live without. And then there was the girl who had saved me from the evil, unnatural state I was in, who brought me back. They were the only two points my eyes held focus on; everything else was a blur. I wanted to save them, to save them both. But a question still lingered in my mind. _If I could only protect one of them, who would it be?_ _Rose or Lissa?_ It was the situation I'd always feared, having to choose between the two of them. And in the back of my head, though I refused to comprehend it, I knew the answer. Who it would always be.

But in the split second I had considered it, everything had escalated. Lissa stepped forward, "Tasha–" I heard. I didn't know what she had in mind, what she wanted to say. But I knew it wouldn't end well. The two guardians holding me seemed to have a new focus, on Tasha heading out the door. The grip on my arms had been slightly loosened, and I knew I could break out of their hold. I quickly wrestled out of their hands, and ran toward where Lissa was standing, where I knew Rose would be. She would protect the Princess. Always.

But I was too late. Rose was already there, the bullet plunging into her chest. _Of course_, my mind whispered to me. With the bond, Rose knew exactly where Lissa would be, knew every step Lissa would take. She saw the danger, and she didn't hesitate. She would never hesitate, not when Lissa's life was on the line. I saw it in the battle when I was a Strigoi. When Lissa's life was on the line, she didn't think. She acted. I knew she would. No matter the other conflicts in her heart, she would protect Lissa. It was the duty drilled into her. She _had_ learned my lesson well. Very well.

But this one time – and I knew how much it went against everything I'd ever believed – I wished she hadn't.

For a second, I wished Lissa had been the one shot. And it hurt me so much to even think about the possibility I'd feel that way, but it was the truth. Hey, the truth hurts. Even after everything that had happened, I knew it would always be the same. Rose was the one life I would always value above any other. Even Lissa. Even the beautiful, young Dragomir princess. The last of her name. The girl my lover was bonded to. My former charge. The one who saved me from an eternity as a Strigoi. No one – _no one_ – would ever mean more to me. Rose was the center of my universe, the brightest star among them all.

As I watched Rose fall, I saw Lissa catch her in her arms, and screaming for help. And I couldn't help but be jealous. I wanted to be the one holding her, the one helping her out. But this wasn't the time to worry about it. I was breaking apart. My world shattered seeing her there. And the thing that hurt me most – the one thing that burned my heart in _agony_ – was that I couldn't do anything. I was weak and powerless. I would do absolutely anything for her – anything at all – but this time, I couldn't. And that tore me apart.

I fell to my knees beside her, not caring what anyone else thought. Everyone probably knew anyway after Lissa told Guardian Croft. That kind of gossip spread like wildfire. Lissa was crying, saying something to Rose, but I couldn't hear. My attention was only on Rose. I watched her intently, and something flashed across her expression. She saw me and managed a small smile. Her lips parted, wanting to say something, but nothing came out. Yet…I could almost see the words "I love you" playing on her lips. Maybe it was just my imagination. Maybe I just wanted it to be there, but… I had some strange feeling it wasn't, a strange feeling that what my heart told me was the truth. And the look she was giving me…wow. It was burning with so much love, so much emotion. And I could see, it was all for me. The love in her expression – it enveloped me into a world of adoration and passion. And I saw it in her eyes. She loved me. She wanted me. I really was the only one she'd ever love. I saw that she needed me, that I was her strength the same way she was mine.

I never felt worthy of her love after what happened in Siberia, but her eyes told me that I always had been. That she forgave me for everything because our love was too strong to be destroyed. That she never blamed me for what I'd done – and that she wanted me to forgive myself so, so badly. She really didn't care about the past, and she wanted to help me overcome it. I saw the love. It shined so brightly. For the first time, I really saw it. What I had been too blind to see, too overwhelmed by self-loathing. All her emotions – I could see them. Rose was the only one I understood, and this wasn't any different. I understood her face like she was speaking 10,000 words. I understood every single emotion that flashed through her expression. We'd both been through our traumas, and we weren't perfect, but it was time to forgive and forget – ourselves and each other.

The realization filled me with joy, and then…regret. Because now it finally hit me, but as I looked down at her, it was almost like I could feel death pulling her away, once again taking Rose away from me. Like it was too late.

And that's when all the memories came flooding back. I thought of the time I first saw her, saw her dedication and protective demeanor; saw her beauty. There was the night of Victor's lust charm where we almost took things a bit too far, how I just couldn't get enough of her warm skin and amazing body. All the times I watched her struggle with the darkness from the spirit Lissa was using. That night in the cabin where she totally gave herself to me, gave me her virginity and body wholeheartedly. The way I'd hurt her by rejecting her after Lissa had saved me. How that night in the alley, she saved me from being a killer, how I'd realized she'd always be there for me, and that I'd never stop loving her. And the other day in the hotel, when we'd finally gave in to each other, to the love that bonded us, the connection our hearts yearned for.

Everything came back to me. And it was overwhelming. Seeing as the life appeared to just fade away from her just sent me into complete, unadulterated pain. Agony. I felt like a piece of my soul was being torn away from me. She was a part of me. She couldn't die. I needed her to survive, and I would do anything to keep her alive. But there wasn't anything I could do now.

And then I realized this was how Rose felt when Nathan had turned me. It was like my breath was being sucked out of me. I couldn't breathe. My world was being taken away from me, ripped from my life. And it hurt. So, so much. Watching her lay there, unconscious, I felt tears spilling out of my eyes. And I didn't try holding them back. I wouldn't be able to if I had wanted to. When Rose was hurt, life on the line, it changed everything. Self-control? It didn't exist. Not when Rose's life was in danger.

I felt nothing but pain. Being the one with the bullet in my chest would have hurt less. Death would have hurt less. The pain was overwhelming, incomprehensible. I couldn't take it. Because when it came down to it, all the physical pain in the world was incomparable to mental pain. I was breaking. Because the one person I loved, the one I couldn't live without was dying. It was shredding up my heart, my soul. I needed her. I had to keep her alive no matter what it would take. I'd come so close to losing her so many times. I couldn't lose her this time. I couldn't lose her forever. I wouldn't let her die. Never.

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><p><strong>SO? Was is horrible? Okay? Good?<strong>

**And should I keep writing this? Like, about the part where they send her into surgery and everything because I know the ending just kind of left off with Dimitri's feelings.**

**So please, REVIEW!**

**-rozabelikovaforever**


	2. Back to Prison

**Thanks for all the reviews, faves, and story alerts! I really appreciate all your praise, and I decided to continue this story on. Probably only till the point Rose wakes up in the palace, though. **

**SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY SHORT! I kind of needed to write a little one to set up for the next chapter, which will be about Dimitri's time in the prison cell. And sorry if it's bad. It's a bit impromptu.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters or storyline. It is all taken from Last Sacrifice, in addition to a little bit of my imagination, since Rose was unconscious for this part of the story.**

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><p>Breaking me out of my thoughts, emotions, and tears was Guardian Hans Croft. It was then that I realized he had been trying to get my attention for a while. Turning toward him, I tried to get a grip on my surroundings. Lissa and all of the other attendees were gone. I hadn't noticed them but they probably left in the frenzy, or were taken away by guardians.<p>

"Belikov," I heard. "I'm sorry, but we have to put you back in a cell. I believe you and Rose about Tasha – _I really do_ – but we have to gather enough evidence to set you free," he spoke as he lead me away. My voice caught when Hans said _Rose_. I felt another guardian grab my other arm, but I didn't pay attention to him.

"What about Rose?" I asked, hearing my own voice break on her name. "What will you do with her?" They had to help her, right? Did they all still believe Rose was a criminal? And if they did, would they really just let her die like this? They couldn't. Besides, Tasha's actions should've been enough alone to prove her guilt.

I noticed we were winding through the Court, heading toward the all-too-familiar location of the prison. It was where I had been held. Where I had broken Rose out of. It seemed like a lifetime since I had been changed back, and after the change, it was like my whole life had been centered around that prison.

"They'll take her into surgery." My expression must have shown my worries, because he added, "The Court has some of the best doctors around. They'll do everything they can."

"But will it be enough?" I knew I sounded desperate. And to be honest, I was. How could I not be when Rose could be dying? I was scared. More scared than I had ever been. Fear wasn't a feeling I felt often, only when it came to Rose. Not even when fighting Strigoi had fear ever come into play. Only when I was worried about Rose.

Hans paused for a second, maybe considering whether or not he should tell me the truth, and then said, "I don't know, Belikov. They'll try. I'd like to tell you she'll be okay, but you and I both know it would be a lie. She's in critical condition right now, and I'm not sure what'll happen. We'll just hope for the best." Then, he turned to me with a solemn expression and said, "I'm sorry. Sorry we couldn't have stopped this from happening." I nodded my And then we arrived at the Court's prison.

I was led into a cell and was overwhelmed by a feeling of déjà vu. Here I was again, only under completely different circumstances. Last time I had been here, it was right after Lissa had turned me back. At the time, I was living in complete guilt, pushing Rose away. But now, there was nothing I wanted more than Rose. I needed her to be able to survive. She _was_ my soul.

I sighed and sat down on the small cot in the corner. This was going to be a long night. Aside from the fact that the bed was definitely _way_ too small, there was the troubling issue that I knew Rose would never leave my mind. I would always be worried about her. Sleep wasn't going to come easy.

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><p><strong>I know it really isn't a good chapter, but like I said, I needed a set uptransition for the next chapter. The next one will be a lot better, I promise. I'll try to UD soon.**

**Please review! I love reading your reviews. Constructive criticism as well as positive comments welcome always!**

**-rozabelikovaforever**


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